Attention Passengers....

I am off. Flying the big blue sky. Heading south. Hopefully heading into some warmth. Saturday is the casting call for Biggest Loser in Nashville, TN. So I am headed out first thing in the morning to stay with a friend.

I have been blessed by so many friends, family and prayers.

No matter what happens on Saturday, this will be the time my life has changed. I've already started with replacing things in our diet and making healthy meals.

And of course Jillian Michaels is trying to kill me.

So I am off for Music City. I probably won't get much of a chance to blog. But when I get back I'll tell you all about it.

Because self torture is so exciting...

I'm taking a drastic step toward "changing" me. Hey maybe my slogan should be hope and change -- think they are copyrighted?? ..anyways back to thought. I've thought a lot about this and I've decided I want to give it a go. I am auditioning for Biggest Loser.

I know what you are thinking. What on earth would make me want to torture myself with the extreme side of weight loss? Well, life. Because mine is valuable. At least to me and I'm pretty sure to Brat though she'd never admit it.

I have a serious weight problem. And because of that I also have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes. I get winded walking in Wal-Mart and I LOVE to shop. So for the skinny bitch inside screaming to get out, I'm going to give it a shot.

I know I'm up against many. But it can't be worse odds than playing the lottery. Or starting a blog and hoping to get readers.

If I make it, I hope Jillian whips my ass into shape. I hope I come home with my life changed. If I don't make it....it will be on to plan b. First I have to have a plan b.

Don't worry for me fine folks. Worry for Grumpy and Brat. They would have to survive without me here. That's just plain torture.

Torturing myself one goal at a time...

I've spent a few days contemplating whether or not I wanted to make resolutions this year. I mean I never keep them. They are forgotten by January 2nd February. But at the same time, it doesn't seem natural to not make them.

So the goal here is to make resolutions that I can keep. Or at least attempt to keep. So I'm keeping it small this year. But I want to keep in line with my goals to make it into adulthood. I already have my 65 in 365.

So alas, here's my to do list of resolutions for the new year.

* Sleep More
* Work Less
* Enjoy the little moments
* Walk past the chocolate without grabbing some at least once a week
* Try my hand at physical activity-- even if its courtesy of the Wii
* Maintain a decent hair style
* Buy myself some new clothes
* Pay the bills

Seems simple right?? Maybe it will happen. I'm not holding my breath on number 4.

65 in 365

Well when I decide to start changing life...I jump off the diving board into the deep end. My first real post is this! Now that's crazy ambitious. But let's give credit where credit is due. I found this over at Snarky Mom's blog Postcards From Insanity. Which if you are looking for another sarcastic but hysterical female perspective to life is an AWESOME blog. But back to the topic....

The point of this is to list 65 things you would like to accomplish in 365 days. I'm lucky if I change my undies 65 times in 365 days. But that's another story for another post. Right now we need goals. And goals I might actually accomplish. Because let's face it...even the mom of a preteen doesn't have time to build a rocket or solve world peace. So I must be realistic. What goals would I like to accomplish?? Well here is my list. Hopefully you will make your own. Be sure to comment and let me know.

1. Initiate a family fun day with activity twice a month
2. Teach Brat how to roller skate
3. Let's start small- Lose 30 lbs
4. Take Brat to the drive-in 3 times
5. Complete one craft or decorating project per month
6. Cut and color my hair and maintain it
7. Volunteer at the Rescue Mission
8. Quit Smoking (hey I have a year right??)
9. Go to the movies once per month
10. Go out to dinner once per month
11. Read one new book a month
12. Rent a newer release once per month and catch up on all movies I have been wanting to see
13. Walk Daily
14. Take Brat sledding
15. Go to the beach (here) 6 times
16. Replace the floors in my house
17. Replace the flooring in my house
18. Replace the toilet
19. Replace the dryer gas line
20. Try one new recipe a month
21. Cook more often
22. Set up and stick to a chore chart
23. Completely finish unpacking
24. Save towards a Disney trip
25. Help Brat pull up her grades
26. Get my diabetes, cholesterol and blood pressure all under control
27. Take a fun class in something I'd like
28. Go to NC to see family
29. Go to the beach (away from here)
30. Visit Chicago in style
31. Have a girls night out with K at least 3 times
32. Straighten Brats hair at least once a week
33. Remodel/decorate Brat's room.
34. Buy a new computer
35. Replace windows that need it
36. Actually use my filing cabinet
37. Start a savings account
38. Start Brat's savings account
39. Pay back Brat the money I owe her
40. Visit New York City (i'm getting ambitious, but its a dream!)
41. Purge the junk
42. Put all my photos in frames or albums
43. Make 12 new scrapbook pages
44. Learn to design Digi kits
45. Make disks of all digital photos
46. Get my business up and running good
47. Buy myself 3 new outfits
48. Buy myself some make-up
49. Go to Wisconsin to see family/friends
50. Go camping twice
51. Take Brat to a concert
52. Decorate for Christmas
53. Host Thanksgiving Dinner
54. Practice my non existant baking skills
55. Redecorate the bathroom
56. Redecorate the kitchen
57. Finish buying needed furniture
58. Write two chapters of the book I want to write
59. Make a budget and stick to it
60. Make myself do something for me every day
61. Clean house daily
62. Plant flowers in the spring
63. Organize my shed
64. Organize my inventory
65. Stay ahead on bills

Meet the Queen...

I can write about anything and it just flows. Until now. Talking about myself is not my forte. But its a necessary evil. Kind of like child birth. Painful, but the kind of pain you remember forever and still need drugs to numb forget. I think I hate it so much because it reminds me of just how old and boring mature I've gotten over the years. Everyone misses the fun of their youth. Occasionally with the help of Captain Morgans I relive it.

I'm a 30 something woman who resides in a typical small town in the midwest. I'm the mom to an amazing, yet volatile, preteen girl. I have a part chihuahua part bitch yorkie. Needless to say, I have more gray hair than I'd like. Which WILL be eliminated soon. My hair is generally in a ponytail. And my clothing hasn't been updated in years. We just recently became homeowners of a quaint little fixer upper mobile home. I'm just now rediscovering friendships that don't revolve around children, hobbies that don't revolve around children, and looking like something other than what the dog left in the yard before she dashed back inside.

I cuss more than I should. I enjoy a drink not nearly often enough on occasion. I have my own multiple personalities that occasionally visit several times a day. I'm bluntly honest with my daughter but have to remind her that some things we don't share at school. And I absolutely hate stupid people. Yet they seem to find me at every corner.

To wrap up an accurate description of me, I'm going to show my roots. And no not the gray ones. I mean the southern ones. These two sayings accurately describe me at this point in my life:

1. If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy

2. I'm much too young to feel this damn old