Sunday, January 23, 2011

The queen of the diagnosis...

Advance warning: this post will probably not be filled with the same humor and lightheartedness of my usual ramblings. It's been a serious kind of week and I'm really just frazzled by it. You have been warned.

Brat is a strong kid. And I don't mean in the she can pick you up and toss you across the room sense of strength. Although I'd put my money on her if there was a true battle going on. She's a tough cookie.

No her strength is an internal strength that most kids do not have to deal with and many days I wish she didn't. But she rocks it like nobody's business.

It all began when she was little but it didn't come to light until she started school. That was when we got the first diagnosis. My child that talked to me nonstop apparently did not talk to anyone else. Having been mostly at home, we never really noticed anything beyond the fact she was shy. Oh there were other issues, but that's not what I'm getting at here. So with some therapy and stuff we heard the words severe and anxiety disorder and selective mutism.

Following that came the first round of medications. We saw some slight improvements but then some of her other problems became more pronounced. The therapist suspected ADHD, but I was adamant that she didn't suffer from this. Nonetheless I allowed a test run on Adderall and my life went to hell really fast for a week or so.

It was after this botched medication experiment that the words bipolar disorder became a regular part of our vocabulary. I would later be officially diagnosed the same, but this story isn't about me.

Now we added new meds and we really started seeing some changes. In second grade, Brat stood in front of the class and spoke for the very first time. I happened to walk in the school as her voice boomed from the loudspeaker while she made the morning announcements. Parent volunteers hugged me and cried. No one could believe they had heard her voice.

I should back up and say that in the beginning the therapist pointed out that Brat showed some autistic signs. however she was very social and quite intelligent at her age and those went against the traditional autistic signs. Generally autistic kids that do not speak are not prone to be in the center of a group of friends.

Back to the story. As life went on, Brat's meds went through changes and so did she. As she got older her differences from the other kids became more pronounced. She was far behind. Could this be from not speaking? We were unsure. We continued with the meds that were working and strived to help her.

She had to move schools due to becoming the kid that everyone picked on. She thrived at the new school for a couple of years and all was well. Then her differences kicked her hiney again. She wasn't picked on, but she was ignored. She was alone. She was struggling.

I ended up pulling her out to homeschool her due to lack of cooperation with the school and in the process she also underwent testing.

It was then, not too long ago, Brat received another diagnosis. She suffered from Asperger's Syndrome-- a high functioning form of autism. So now our work was in a different form.

Through all of this Brat has managed to take it well. The kids mostly just ignore her if they don't 'get it'. She has a few that tend to make her life hell. But she is pretty good at defending herself and ignoring them. Unfortunately the adults are not as easy.

Several have told her things like "kids don't get bipolar disorder". Some have eliminated contact with us due to behaviors she has had. It's just been hard on her. But she rocked being unique. She embraces her differences and wants to make a difference in the lives of others.

Sadly this past week Brat received yet another diagnosis. During a routine appointment to discuss a completely different matter, she was diagnosed with a pretty severe case of scoliosis of the spine. She has xrays this week and begins physical therapy on tuesday.

No kid can just keep taking it and never have a problem. She's had a hard time accepting that yet another thing is "wrong" with her. She went through a couple of really depressed days.

Yes she's the queen of the diagnosis, but when do we get a break? When does she get to go to a dr and they simply say all is well we will see you in a few months?

She's 12. And in her 12 years she has had to endure more stress, trouble, heartache and judgment than most adults I know.

I'm writing this because I want to take a minute to just say Damn,....this sucks. because it does. But also to give props to the girl who has faced so much and still finds the time to do amazing things. She wrote a new song this week. It's really good and I'm so proud of her.

She doesn't understand why she had to be the one to get bipolar and anxiety and autism and now scoliosis. But she knows she's strong enough to handle it. And she knows that she will be strong enough for whatever she has to face next.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

It's Alive....

Or better's LIVE!

I've officially got a website. My very own. It is for my freelance writing business. I'd share it here, but would defeat the anonymity of this blog. If I go off on a marathon of words that could make a sailor blush here I don't want it to affect my business. But I'm psyched.

Now to bring in clients.

Oh how I want to make money at this.

I mean I am making money. But I can make more with my own site. At least that's the plan. So here's a big shout out to grumpy who is truly grumpy from having to work on my site today.

And here's to my new site. Which came complete with a blog. No worries. it won't replace what I never get around to posting here.

Life is good today!!


Sunday, January 16, 2011

I laugh...I smile....I take drugs...

Believe me when I say the drugs make me able to laugh and smile. Or you could believe grumpy when he says I never laugh and smile. He's wrong though. I do. Just not at his lame jokes.

It's been a long week. Work has kept me busy. Life has kept me busier. Trying to determine how to juggle a full time job and homeschool is proving to be a cause for the necessity of stronger drugs. Preferably ones that add about 8 hours into my day.

Since this blog was created to outline the journey of becoming a person among the life of being a mom, I should add I've rediscovered something. I was fortunate last year when I stumbled upon the ability to become a freelance writer for an actual income. No more telling teenagers that sex causes babies for two cents a pop.

However, I had still yet to recall how much I truly love fiction writing and article writing for me. I'm exploring that now. So now I work all day and then in my free time I'm working on writing stuff for me. So in essence, I'm always working.

When my first bestselling novel hits the shelves it will all be worth it. Ha Ha.

In the meantime I'm working on a short story for a contest. If I win it will be published in a well known magazine. That would rock my socks.

Now if I can just get the doctor to prescribe more hours in the day.


Monday, January 10, 2011

Brought to you by the letter..............

What is wrong that so many of our letters are being blatantly discriminated against? It's an injustice. They just sit there, in the alphabet, waiting to be used in a nice little (Or big) word. Some people use them elegantly, others...not so much. But they are there. To use.

Words were created with letters. For example the word word has four letters. It has W- O- R and for good measure it ends with D.

What...that word also has FOUR letters. W- H- A- T.

Not WUT. Not WAT.

You see where I'm going with this right?

Why has H been discriminated against? The same could be said for the T in JUST. Again a four letter word.

Someone, somewhere is to blame. They have butchered our language. It was already the most messed up language in the world. Now people are making us sound like a bunch of uneducated hillbillies.

It's hard enough to see Brat's friends do this. I want to correct them all. Point out that speaking like that only makes you look stupid. But all the kids are doing it and I'm the old lady so I'd be the stupid one.

Besides...they might think my ellipses look funny and they don't comment on that.

But when people my own age begin talking like this I want to bitch slap them. I realize its the thing to do. Back when I was first on the internet I probably did all the 'things to do' as well. But geeez...its annoying.

Besides, soon there will be an uprising. H and T will want their place back in our words. They will stage an uprising. They will employ a group to fight for their equal rights and knowing our luck the Rev. Jesse Jackson will jump in on it.

Save me the headache. Quit talking like a moron.

Please and thank you.


Saturday, January 8, 2011

Just another Manic Monday.....

and Tuesday through Friday as well.

Wow this has been a busy week. I really intended to keep up with the blog, but I have been super busy with that crazy little thing called work.

I'm so tired I'm envious of the birds falling out of the sky because they can rest. Whew.

I don't have anything witty or enticing to say today so I guess I will do a quick and disjointed update of my scattered thoughts:

* Brat has scheduled us for like 14 hour school days. If she adds any more subjects she won't finish the year until 2014.
* When everyone in the house is too busy to clean, it begin to looks as though the Goodwill exploded and left the rejected items.
* By the time Grumpy gets my website up, I will be too old to write anymore
* By the time we get Brat's website up she will be past the age limit to use it
* I can write really powerful songs in my mind when I've slept less than 5 hours in 2 days, but chances are by morning I've forgotten them
* Brat can make herself gargle while she sings...its kind of odd yet unique
* Brat can write some pretty awesome songs for a 12 year old girl....though she might need to learn to write music unless she expects everyone who tries to sing them to have telepathy
* Summer makes up for winter in Michigan. Summer makes up for winter in Michigan. Summer makes up for winter in Michigan. Maybe if I keep repeating I'll believe it.
* I'm almost over losing my poems....almost
* If I leave the Christmas stuff up for one more week does that make me extra spirited or extra hillbilly?

Well thats my random thoughts for today. Tune in next time where we hope to be back with your regularly scheduled comedy.


Sunday, January 2, 2011

I'm naked....and everyone can see it

If you still read this blog after my long hiatus, bless you, and you may have noticed that it's looking a little funny. My background has disappeared along with all my little buttons.

See I host my images on a personal webspace I've had for years. I use it simply for hosting my images and holding onto things I didn't want to lose track of....such as poetry I had written and didn't want to lose if my computer crashed.

This isn't just free space. I PAY for this space. Needless to say I don't check it regularly. And since I've been away from the blogosphere for a bit, I didn't realize my attire was gone and I was showing the world my pure naked glory.

So I thought maybe I was due for a payment. It happens. I tend to never realize payments are due until after the fact. So I went to the website to check.

It's nowhere to be found.

I thought maybe it was just an outage. They have them often, but its cheap hosting and I don't have to have a domain name, so I put up with it. So I did a little investigation.

Turns out they've been MIA for several weeks. The company and owner isn't returning emails, phone calls or any other communication. Some people have 10,000 page websites on the server. I merely had a lot of images, some irreplaceable photos and a few poems I had written and do not have anywhere else.

It appears I've lost it all.

It was not a good start to my day. I know it seems small, but I don't handle losing things well. This is why I placed those things on this service I paid for. So I wouldn't lose them.

Good news is I have backups of all my blog images. Better news is I am working on developing a website which will give me hosting for my images.

Bad news is, until its all set up I will continue to be naked. And it won't replace those items I lost.

2011.....not going well so far


The longest New Year's Resolution in history....

So I decided to keep my New Year's resolution simple. I didn't want some long drawn out list. So I shortened it to one word.


Yes you read that right. Consistency. I decided that for 2011, I was going to be consistent in more than just bitching about what isn't done correctly and playing Super Mario Bros on the Wii.

Everything I needed to do in my life-- increase my earnings, become financially stable, lose weight, eat healthier, be a better teacher....all of it boils down to being more consistent in the things I begin and attempt. If I put half the effort into what I try that I put into capturing that damned Princess I would get somewhere.

So I kept it simple. 2011 would be the year of consistency.

So we are sitting outside on New Year's Eve because it was unseasonably warm here in the Frozen Tundra. And Brat begins to tell her resolutions. And Grumpy looks at me.

So I say consistency. Then I start explaining how I can be a better teacher by being more consistent in getting prepared to teach and how I can lose weight by becoming more consistent in how I exercise and eat right. And then I went into a long explanation of how if I get my website set up and start attracting clients I can improve my writing and my income which would also lead to financial stability. And how I can blog more often and try to have more time for myself.

So I went on for a few minutes.

Grumpy looked at me and said "You said a simple word and I thought you had a simple resolution. You then turned it into the most confusing and complicated resolution I have ever heard anyone give"

So see, I've already started. Rambling. It's consistent.