Monday, January 4, 2010

Wat da heell iz rong wif muh

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. In a way I love that I can stay in touch with friends and family across the country. In a way I hate that friends and family across the country can stay in touch with me. HA! No seriously. It can and has taken up way too much time I could spend reading blogs working or cleaning.

But my biggest pet peeve about Facebook? It has turned todays pre-teens and teens into morons. The famous status message. Where you can tell the whole world when you have to go potty. Only the youth of today has distorted this poor status message into a world all their own. Because my daughter is a pre-teen, I have many of them on my Facebook. Which drives me nuts because I have to watch what I say of all their silly posts and the dreaded hated Farmville. But also because it takes me longer to decipher their status messages than I should be spending on Facebook.

And I absolutely LOATHE the new lingo. It makes my skin crawl. I want to drive to their house, slap their mama since it's illegal to slap them and point out that they take English classes for a reason.

My biggest pet peeves? Well for starters...what the sam hill is wrong with H? I mean did H commit some serious offense to render it useless? Is it really a timesaver to type Wat instead of What? Back in the days when I was younger chatted, we referred to that as a typo. Typonese was my first foreign language.

Then of course there's the Me situation. I don't get it. At all. Me is a simple word. Two letters. Meaning obvious. It's worked for centuries to insinuate that one was talking about himself. My is the same. Simple two letter word. Self explanatory. So why oh why did those two simple words get changed to Meh, Muh, Mah? Hello, even a two year old can say me or my. Why does a 12 or 15 year old find it so bad??

Speaking of two year olds. When did we replace the with DA. Dat (another word I hate) makes us sound stupid. Or maybe its stoopid. Who knows anymore??

While H has been eliminated, Z has gained new popularity. It has replaced that funky S in many words. Thiz, Iz, LOLZ, I could go on and on. I know itz zuppozed to look cool, but itz really not.

And Skool. Oh the irony of that.

There are more words that I don't get and most importantly can't stand. It would take all day to name them all. All I can say for sure is that all around the world, kids have dying brain cells. Or at least it appears that way when they speak. When I was a girl we had to walk to school in the snow uphill both ways do a lot more than chat on facebook to kill brain cells.

I, of course, have raised Brat better. She would NEVER type or talk any less than as a lady. Stop laughing if you know us. Yes I know she walks around the house saying O-M-G and I-D-K. Yes she spells it out. But she does know better than to use this foreign language on me. If she texts me or puts a status message that sounds that way, she gets a good dose of my opinion. And since pre-teens want anything except their mom's opinion, it just doesn't happen.

So I vote we beat convince our kids to speak properly. Or else someone needs to make a dictionary for me. Because I'm spending way too much time decoding status messages on Facebook. I could use that time to play farkle catch up on chores.


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